The "Aha!" Moments I Wish My 20-Year-Old Self Could Have Heard

 Thirty feels... different. Not old, not exactly, but definitely more grounded than the whirlwind of my twenties. Looking back, there are so many "aha!" moments I've stumbled upon in this past decade nuggets of wisdom that, if whispered into the ear of my younger, slightly more clueless self, would have saved a lot of heartache, confusion, and maybe even a few bob lost.

So, consider this your friendly older sibling or cousin sharing some real talk. Here are the things I know at 30, living and navigating life right here in Kenya, that I desperately wish my 20-year-old self had grasped. Maybe they'll resonate with you, wherever you are on your journey.

1. Your Network is Your Net Worth And It’s More Than Just Instagram Followers

In my early twenties, "networking" felt like a forced, awkward affair involving exchanging business cards I didn't really need. I focused heavily on my immediate friends and thought that was enough.

What I know now: Your network is so much more than that. It's the diverse group of people you connect with – mentors, former colleagues, people in different industries, even that friendly mama who sells you mandazi every morning. These connections can open doors you never imagined, offer advice during tough times, and provide unexpected opportunities like that job lead I got from a casual chat at a nyama choma joint!. 

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: Invest time in building genuine relationships with people from all walks of life. Be genuinely interested in them, offer help without expecting anything in return, and nurture those connections. Don’t just reach out when you need something.

2. Small Savings Today Are Big Investments Tomorrow That M-Pesa Balance Matters!

Ah, the days of spending almost every bob that came my way! Spontaneous weekend getaways, the latest gadgets, treating friends… while fun, my saving habits were practically non-existent. "I'll save when I earn more," I’d tell myself.

What I know now: The power of compounding is real, and it starts with small, consistent savings. That KSh 500 you spend on impulse could have been the start of an investment in a money market fund, or a contribution to a SACCO. Over time, those small amounts grow exponentially. Plus, having an emergency fund (even a small one initially) saves you from those panic moments when life throws you a curveball.

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: Start saving now, no matter how small the amount. Automate it if you can. Treat saving like a non-negotiable bill. Your future self will thank you immensely for that M-Pesa balance that keeps growing.

3. Failure Isn't the Opposite of Success, It's a Stepping Stone Embrace the "L" Word: Learning

In my early twenties, making a mistake felt like the end of the world. A failed exam, a rejected job application, a business idea that flopped – each felt like a personal indictment. I was so afraid of getting things wrong that I often didn't try things at all.

What I know now: Failure is inevitable. It’s how we learn and grow. Every setback has taught me valuable lessons, forced me to adapt, and ultimately made me more resilient. Those "failures" were often just course corrections on my path to where I am today.

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: Don’t be so afraid to take risks (calculated ones, of course!). When things don’t go as planned, analyze what happened, learn from it, dust yourself off, and try again. See every "failure" as a valuable learning experience, not a final judgment.

4. Your Mental and Physical Health Are Non-Negotiable Investments More Important Than That New Phone

Back then, I often prioritized late nights, cheap food, and pushing myself to the limit. Sleep? Exercise? Healthy eating? Those felt like luxuries I’d worry about “later.”

What I know now: Your well-being is your foundation. Without good mental and physical health, everything else suffers – your productivity, your relationships, your ability to enjoy life. Investing in your health isn't an expense; it's the smartest investment you can make.

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: Prioritize sleep, eat nourishing food yes, more fruits and vegetables!, find a form of exercise you enjoy even a brisk walk counts!, and don’t neglect your mental health. Talk to someone when you're struggling. These things aren’t optional; they are essential for a fulfilling and successful life.

5. Comparison is the Thief of Joy Focus on Your Own Race, Kenyan Style

Social media in my early twenties was a highlight reel of everyone else's "perfect" lives. It was easy to fall into the trap of constantly comparing my journey to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and envy.

What I know now: Everyone is on their own unique path, facing their own unique challenges and timelines. What you see on social media is often just a carefully curated snapshot. My focus now is on progress relative to my own goals and celebrating my own milestones, no matter how small they seem.

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: Stop comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten. Focus on your own journey, your own growth, and celebrate your own wins. Your race is with yourself, not with everyone else on your Instagram feed.

6. Saying "No" is a Superpower Protect Your Time and Energy

In my eagerness to please and not miss out, I often said "yes" to everything – commitments I didn't have time for, requests that drained me, social obligations I didn't truly enjoy.

What I know now: Saying "no" is not selfish; it's an act of self-care and a way to protect your most valuable resources: your time and energy. Learning to politely decline things that don't align with your priorities allows you to focus on what truly matters.

What I’d tell my 20-year-old self: You don’t have to say "yes" to everything. Learn to identify your priorities and boundaries, and don’t be afraid to say "no" without feeling guilty. Your time and energy are precious; use them wisely.

Embracing the Journey

Turning 30 isn't about having all the answers, but it’s about having a clearer perspective. These are just a few of the lessons I’ve picked up along the way, navigating the beautiful chaos of life in Kenya.

If you're in your twenties, I hope these reflections offer a little guidance and perhaps save you from some of the stumbles I made. Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination. Embrace the learning, be kind to yourself, and know that you've got this!

What are some "aha!" moments you've had that you wish you knew earlier?